Poems, Personal Stories, and Observations

The Kidney Stone Miracle

So, on President’s Day, 2/17/2014, I was thinking of going to a class at my church. On the way to the car, I thought, “I don’t feel that great, I’d better stay home.” Soon my husband got home from work, and we ate dinner. I gradually felt worse. We went to bed and I kept hoping the bad feeling would go away, but it didn’t. Pretty soon my lower right back started to hurt and it got worse. The pain became so bad that I vomited. I told Tom, “We need to go to urgent care or emergency.” We soon figured out that urgent care had just closed (it was 9:05 p.m.), so off we went to emergency. It began to be the same level of pain as being in labor before birth, but I never vomited in labor.

We checked in and had to wait for triage. Meanwhile I was hunched over, breathing hard. Eventually it was our turn and I explained to the nurse my pain, unfortunately vomiting once or twice again, into a bag given me for that purpose. I have to admire the medical folks, who emotionally might want to fix your pain right away, but don’t because they need to know what’s wrong first. It must be hard to watch.

Soon I was put in a private room in the emergency ward. I can’t remember the sequence of things, but eventually I did get some pain medication. I think it was given soon after they did a CT scan; I don’t recall. In any case, I finally got relief. Perhaps a half hour later, although again all the times are fuzzy, a doctor from radiology came in to say, yes, I had a kidney stone on my right side , and it was stuck for the time being.

Then he went on to say that they’d also found “something concerning”, a tumor near the left kidney. Needless to say, Tom and I were in shock and it took time for it to sink in. The doctor gave me a list of specialists to choose from to make an appointment as soon as possible.

In the end, we met with the specialist and first agreed that he would clean out my right kidney with lithotripsy and get the stuck kidney stone as well. So 2/20, I had the lithotripsy, but the stuck kidney stone had already passed, though I didn’t know it! (Too many pain meds, maybe?) At least my right kidney shouldn’t give me trouble for a while! It took me about two weeks to feel somewhat normal again. Meanwhile, I got another CT scan, with contrast, which I take it is more accurate, so the doctor could get a better look at the tumor.

So, to get to the miracle: If I hadn’t had the emergency, I never would have had the CT scan, which revealed the tumor. The tumor hasn’t spread. Though I don’t like the situation, it’s early enough to remove the tumor altogether, and I should be fine. If you already feel symptoms from the tumor (which I had not), it may be too late to cure. Thank you, Lord!

Surgery is now scheduled for 3/17/2014 (previously 3/31). I would appreciate your prayers. Thanks in advance!

——————————

Postscript: After the surgery, in a communication with my surgeon, he hinted that the kidney stones were not that big and perhaps the main reason I had the emergency was that I was dehydrated.

Help Me Love You

Jesus, help me love You,
Help me live for You each day,
Put my life into Your hands,
With faith keep fear away.

Help me see the beauty
You made for me each day.
Recognize Your glory
In things that come my way.

See You in each moment,
In the clouds and sun.
See You in disguises
That all around me come.

See Your plan so awesome,
In joy and sadness praise.
See you both in drudg’ry
And pleasant things each day.

Put my trust completely
In Your plan so great.
Let me tell Your story
So all can contemplate.

Someday

Someday I’ll walk in heav’nly lands,
By crashing waves and sunlit sands,
Shall walk beneath an azure sky,
On grassy hills and meadows lie.

No more will furrows cross my brow,
No more my worries back to bow,
No more to let my peace be stirred,
By frowning face or angry word.

Then will I let God’s love enfold,
Will tell His story bright and bold,
Will shine forth with His glorious light,
My weakness showing forth His might.

Love’s not so much about …
How good things feel,
Romantic fantasies,
The wildest ecstasies.

Love’s when I give to you;
And you give to me.
When I serve you,
And you serve me.
When I forgive,
And you forgive me;
And sometimes all above
Might not be simultaneously.

Love is when
We talk it out,
Shout it out,
Cast about —
Find a way
To understand,
For you and I,
God’s wondrous plan.

Love is not
The glitzy clothes,
The plastic-surgery nose,
The fishnet pantyhose,
The painted lips,
The swivelly hips,
And lacy slips.

Though those might have their place sometimes,
And not always to be condemned,
The love that’s everlasting, true,
Looks in the soul and finds a friend —
Another soul with which to view
The world — both hand in hand
Until life’s destined end.

— September 29, 2013

Swift Runner met Delicate Flower,
And under the silver moon,
He asked for her hand in marriage.

Their canoe flew swiftly
Over the waters,
Gliding smoothly, like oil
On the glass-still lake.

The storm came unexpectedly,
And when it was over,
He could not find
His beloved Flower.

She comes to him in dreams
On soft summer nights,
Gliding on the perfume
Of mock-orange flowers.

— April 22, 2012

My Wish for You

Joy in your sorrow,
hugs in your pain,
hope for tomorrow,
beginning again.

How to hug the world’s pain?
A hug could seem so trite.

To let hope enter in again,
Make heavy burden light?

How to ease the suffering
Of untold millions’ blight?

How to bring a healing balm,
A quiet calm, a lasting peace,
A heart at ease, a healing light?

Oh heavy burden, how to bear?
The Savior’s groan does pierce the air.

Looking back, what will I leave?
Sadness, joy, or bickering?

Will people smile as they remember
Those moments spent, us two together?

Will they laugh, or rather cry?
Be gratified, or give a sigh?

How did I spend my life on earth?
The pain endured, how much was worth?

The weeds, the wheat, the flowers strewn
Will be the writing on my tomb.

You Are Loved

[Written while watching the movie “Waste Land”, about people who pick through garbage to get recyclable materials, in Rio de Janeiro]

You are loved
in Jesus’ name.
It’s not your riches,
nor any fame.
Not what you did,
or didn’t do,
What things you own,
or your great school.

It’s not how many
friends you have —
No boyfriend, girlfriend?
don’t be sad.
Lift up your head,
Because you’re loved.

Are we rich in any way? It may not be material things ….

————————————————————

Invited in, I shyly stood,
Not knowing if I really should.
You see, I had so much to lose —
A fancy coat, expensive shoes,
My pride of life, my love of booze.

[The door too small to take it all … ]

Undecided, there I stood,
But I could see beyond that door
Some happy people, singing all.
But I would almost have to crawl
To get within that little hall.

I’d have to bend, might have to kneel.
My fear, my pride, I sure could feel.
I turned around, dejected still.

I wandered long; I wandered far,
But in my mind could see the door
Still beckoning, still off’ring hope.

While wandering, I lost the shoes,
The fancy coat, my taste for booze.
Somehow they didn’t seem to give
My soul its very-needed lift.

[My feet were calloused; my soul was bruised …]

I lost my pride; where did it go?
The things I’d thought; they were not so.
Inside-out, it seemed my life;
Continuing, but filled with strife.

Then humbly came I to the door.
I knelt; I crawled, into the hall.
With tears of joy I was received,
And my own tears, my fear, relieved.