Poems, Personal Stories, and Observations

More Crimes of My Youth

I was about eight years old. It was probably just after Halloween, and I went over to my neighbor’s to play with my friend Joey. Maybe we were comparing our candy hauls, or he was just showing me his. I don’t know what possessed me, but when he was out of the room, I took one of the candies: An orange wax candy harmonica, a real prize. (They are making a comeback: see https://woweewaxwhistles.com/.)

I’m not sure how I got away with it, but I took it home, and presumably ate it.

But, I DIDN’T get away with it. His mom confronted me at some point, and asked if I’d taken it. I had to confess, “Yes”. The consequence was that I had to pay for the candy or buy a new one. That one smart mom prevented me from ever becoming a future thief.

Tenth grade: I was about 15. Again, who knows my motivation (just trying to prove I was grown up? boredom with school?), but I played hooky several times from class. Once or twice, it was biology, and another time I think it was geometry.

Eventually, my conscience caught up with me. Did I hear something about honesty in church? Did I already know deep down inside that it was wrong? Something caused me to confess to my teachers and to say I was sorry. I still suffered the demerits in my grades; however, the teachers did not hold it against me personally, and were actually quite kind.

How good it is to confess our sins!

Too Much of a Good Thing

My paternal grandmother Anna always kept a candy bowl full of Hershey’s Chocolate Kisses on a table in her home. It was a cut glass bowl through which you could see the tasty treats, and I imagine that sometimes the light would catch the cuts in the glass and make it glitter. Sometimes, mixed in, were the mini candy bars such as Krackle or Mr. Goodbar. Grandma also sometimes had available bags of chocolate chips, in her kitchen. I visited grandma perhaps once a week, in my younger years from age eight to 24, I think.

I’m not sure of the clinical definition of an addict, but, in some way, I’m probably a chocolate addict, to my detriment.

So one week, grandma, for whatever reason, gave me a whole bag of chocolate chips to take home, I think the six-ounce size (could it have been 12?). I’m not sure what I was thinking (or not thinking), but I ate the whole bag within an hour or two, not likely aware of possible consequences.

Soon enough, I began to have terrible stomach cramps. My mom took me to Kaiser emergency in Richmond, California. I recall the green walls of the hospital and the examining table. At first the doctor was puzzled, not sure of the cause of my discomfort. He started to talk about appendicitis and possible surgery. Somehow that sunk in to my dense mind, and/or he asked me what I had eaten recently.

When I told him that I’d eaten an entire bag of chocolate chips, then the doctor understood. My mother was very angry, more at my grandma than me. I don’t know if she had it out with my grandma or not.

Needless to say, I’m very careful these days about how much chocolate I eat.

Sand the nicks and fill the cracks,
Stain and varnish, maybe wax.
Smoothing, repairing, filling holes,
Some furniture — renewed from old.

Abandoned home, so full of junk,
Rats and mice, and smelly stuff.
Maybe gutted to foundation;
Now begins the restoration.

A leaky boat; it can’t be used,
A hole-filled shoe; it’s been abused.
A crack-ed window lets wind in;
Repairmen will transform these “sins”.

So take my soul, O Lord, renew
The parts that have rejected You.
Renew, refresh, and cleanse, until —
My soul with You is one again.

Passing Through

Passing through, don’t you know
We’re just passing through?
This journey of life, so full of strife —
We’re just passing through.

It’s all just a dream, or so it seems —
Sometimes a nightmare of terrors,
Or at it’s best — a comedy of errors.

The saints and sinners,
The losers, the winners.
The rich and famous,
The poor and infamous.
The weak, the strong,
The hopeful, the wrong.

All loved by God,
All beautiful in His eyes —
No time to compromise
His love for you.

Remember the Light

Well, our older cat may be in her last days, so this poem came to mind. 
It’s really more about people, but maybe it’s all connected.

——————————————————————

A meditation on death …

‐‐—‐———————-

The light shines for awhile,
And then it palls.
Remember the light
When darkness falls.

Remember the good,
Remember the best,
Hold on in your heart,
To memory best.

Think not of the end,
For it really begins
A new door to freedom,
A new door within.

Many good times
Of laughter and love.
All multiplied
In heav’n above.

Bury Me by the River

Bury me by the river,
Though I hope to be heaven-bound.
If there are rivers in heaven,
They’ll be peaceful, and broad, and sound.

The water brings deep refreshment,
Its lapping, a spirit of calm.
When the saints go down to the river,
There will be a glorious song.

Oh, bury me by the river,
And I’ll think of you in my new home,
And pray for your peace and protection,
As through life’s trials you roam.

The Real Battle

For some weeks (even years, off and on), I had been burdened, even depressed, about two people close to me who seemed unconcerned about going to heaven, knowing and loving Jesus, and really are agnostic or atheist. I wondered if they had not come to faith through some fault in my own witness or character. I tried hard to show them love, and hopefully through my love, and the genuine love of other Christians, they might see their need for Jesus. At times when I got more explicit and asked about having a personal relationship with Jesus, it didn’t go as I’d hoped.

Then one day while pondering all this, this Scripture popped into my head: “For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places (Ephesians 6:12, NLT).” Suddenly I saw it all in a new way. This is not a battle between myself and others, but it’s a battle against evil forces that have influenced others negatively or even destructively. I even fight these battles within myself at times.

So, once again Scripture has set me free of a burden that I wasn’t meant to bear, at least the burden of blaming myself. Yes, I will pray and try to act on promptings from the Holy Spirit to share Jesus, but the outcome is not up to me.

The Summer Gardener

Sweat drools down my face,
Salty taste on my tongue.
With peppermint bug spray,
So far no bugs have stung.

Some crops do well;
Others are a bust.
Bugs get to many;
At least they don’t have rust.

Sometimes all sweaty,
My clothes a bit wet.
I sure need a shower,
But no time for that yet.

Build up the compost,
Water if soil is dry,
Pull all those weeds up;
At least I have to try.

Do a bit of harvesting;
That’s the satisfyin’ part.
All the work I’ve put in —
It’s warming to the heart.

As soon as I come in,
Take a shower right away.
Don’t want those chiggers and skeeters,
To start their itchy way.

Ah, now time for a cool drink,
Chug that water down.
Have a seat in the parlor,
A smile replaces frown.

Arrested Twice?

No, I’ve never been arrested, but …

It almost happened — twice.

I was attending a wedding in Oakland, California, and needed a place to stay that night. My sister and her husband offered their house in nearby Alameda, and they happened to be away that night. I arrived at the house and was supposed to enter on my own. She and her husband had neglected to tell me that there was an alarm system installed in the house, but they HAD provided a key. So, I innocently unlocked the door, and soon heard the automatic alarm go off.

My first thought was to call them. I had no idea how to turn the alarm off. I could not get ahold of them, so tried some of their friends. The friends may have told me how to do it, but by that time, the police had been alerted. I’m pretty sure I had it off by the time a police car parked nearby.

I noticed him park, and he very slowly and cautiously came toward the house. I had the front door open and spoke through the screen door and may even have opened it. I don’t think he had a gun drawn, but looked ready to if necessary. It took me awhile to explain that it was my sister’s house and I was staying for the night, but my sister hadn’t told me about the alarm system. He was very suspicious in the beginning, but after about fifteen or twenty minutes, I guess he believed me. I seem to recall giving him both my sister’s and their friends’ phone numbers. I assume he called them to check my story. Phew!

The second incident occurred on the campus of Stanford University in Palo Alto, California. Through a prayer group, I had connected with a student Bible Study there, though I was not a student. On this occasion, it happened to be a recess between quarters.

The Bible Study leader or facilitator was a (graduate?) student there. He always unlocked or had access to the Old Union building (number 29 on the current campus map). Being between quarters, we couldn’t get in at the usual door, but we found a back door. As we climbed the stairs to the meeting room, I heard some computer beeping that I didn’t recall hearing on other occasions there. The building seemed empty but for us.

We got to the meeting room and opened our Bibles on the table as we sat around it, and began the study. After five or ten minutes, we thought we heard voices, which grew louder. Pretty soon, we heard, even louder, “Put your hands up and stand still; no talking.” We were startled and puzzled, but after a short pause, realized that we had better cooperate.

As I recall, there were two of the campus police. They were dead serious. They took each person’s name, address, phone, and driver’s license number (if we could remember it while we standing with our hands up). We explained that we had a Bible Study there every week, and surely they could see the open Bibles on the table.

The problem for them seemed to be that since it was quarter break, we should not be there. They asked us to leave, which we did. That was the end of that.

So, besides a few traffic tickets, these have been my experiences of “a brush with the law.” Or does an IRS audit count? (The audit found no problem.) Pretty fortunate, I’d say.

“For this slight momentary affliction is preparing us for an eternal weight of glory beyond all measure, because we look not at what can be seen but at what cannot be seen; for what can be seen is temporary, but what cannot be seen is eternal.” (2 Corinthians 4:17-18, NRSVCE)

Until a few years ago (and I’m 70 as I write this), whenever I heard or read this Bible verse, I thought, “Slight? Momentary? It doesn’t feel that way.” My own hardest personal cross might be chronic mild depression (dysthymia). It has never felt “momentary”. It is probably “slight” compared to major depression. But I also think of many who carry what look like quite heavy crosses: chronic physical problems, financial struggles, family breakdown, and emotional or mental health issues. They never looked “slight” or “momentary” to me.

Here is another translation of the verses. I am adding this and the next one just to give different shades of meaning, hopefully helping all to understand the verses. “For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” (2 Corinthians 4:17-18, NIV)

And again: “For our present troubles are small and won’t last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever! So we don’t look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever.” (2 Corinthians 4:17-18, NLT)

This immediately preceding translation might give the clearest or simplest meaning for us. And the two verses actually explain themselves, if we think about it.

It’s all about perspective, eternal perspective, that is. When I began to focus on eternity, which after all, is a lot longer than an earthly life, the quote started to make a lot of sense. Yes, I or others may be suffering now, but COMPARED TO the rewards, joy, and glory of eternity, what we’re going through is NOTHING. Yes, it doesn’t feel good if we focus on the current suffering, but if we focus on what awaits people of faith in heaven, it’s incomparable!

This is not to dismiss the very real pain that all of us go through, but to give hope that it won’t last forever. And, we probably should try to alleviate others’ suffering, if not our own. But I’ve found it very helpful to forget myself and focus on the glory to come, while always working to improve what can be improved in my little area of the world.