First, a disclaimer: I am not a psychologist, and have no psychological training except a few college classes and one five-day workshop. However, I have been in and out of counseling/therapy since age 12 or 13 (I’m now 66), sometimes with a break of many years. So, any psychological terms I use will be my understanding of what they mean, as a layperson.
My main diagnosis through all these years has been mild to moderate depression, or dysthymia. If I understand correctly, dysthymia comes under a broader category called “mood disorders”.
There are many opinions about depression, including “Just pull yourself together,” “It’s because of your sins,” “It’s a lack of faith,” “It’s from ‘stinkin’ thinking’ (irrational, untrue, or unrealistic thinking),” and “It’s a chemical imbalance in your brain.” Of course, all of these can be true, or overlapping.
I am often (not always) in a state of low-grade melancholy, for whatever reasons, as noted above. I could even add the excuse of my cultural background, which is Hungarian. My parents grew up there and then emigrated to the United States. From what I have read, melancholy is a common characteristic among Hungarians. Again, this could be for many reasons. One of my theories is that Hungary, for hundreds of years, has been overrun by foreign powers and has been constantly at their mercy (if there was any mercy). At any rate, melancholy does seem to be common among Hungarians, indeed, many eastern Europeans.
But, today I would like to share a surprising recent occurrence for me, perhaps a small miracle. The other day, I was in the typical, mildly low, mood. Sometime around 5:30 p.m., it was like someone turned on a switch. I was happy! I felt loved, and worthwhile, like God, and some people, loved me! It was inexplicable! I repeat, it was literally like a switch was turned on in my mood. No longer the negative thoughts like “Nobody likes me,” “I’m evil (or at best, worthless),” “Things are going to turn out badly,” etc. Lest this sounds frightening to anyone, let me be clear; I sometimes have these thoughts, but I don’t give in to them. They are like attacks that happen periodically. I have found ways to combat them. I am not miserable anymore, as I was in younger days. I have the hope of Jesus Christ, which is what keeps me alive and functioning and purposeful. Speculating on where they come from could be another blog post.
Like any mood change, I cannot explain what happened. I’ve even had the opposite happen. I will be in a mildly low mood and plunge into a more severe depression. Happily, this happens less and less in my life.
What can I learn from this? I believe God is trying to tell me, “Don’t rely on how you FEEL. I am with you despite any moods, feelings, or thoughts. I never leave you. Do not base your worth on how you feel, or how others treat you.” Whether I feel happy, sad, or in between, I mustn’t take that as my major reality. My major reality is that God is present and will not abandon me. THIS IS THE REALITY, not what I FEEL!
clarakatalin 
Slight? Momentary?
“For this slight momentary affliction is preparing us for an eternal weight of glory beyond all measure, because we look not at what can be seen but at what cannot be seen; for what can be seen is temporary, but what cannot be seen is eternal.” (2 Corinthians 4:17-18, NRSVCE)
Until a few years ago (and I’m 70 as I write this), whenever I heard or read this Bible verse, I thought, “Slight? Momentary? It doesn’t feel that way.” My own hardest personal cross might be chronic mild depression (dysthymia). It has never felt “momentary”. It is probably “slight” compared to major depression. But I also think of many who carry what look like quite heavy crosses: chronic physical problems, financial struggles, family breakdown, and emotional or mental health issues. They never looked “slight” or “momentary” to me.
Here is another translation of the verses. I am adding this and the next one just to give different shades of meaning, hopefully helping all to understand the verses. “For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” (2 Corinthians 4:17-18, NIV)
And again: “For our present troubles are small and won’t last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever! So we don’t look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever.” (2 Corinthians 4:17-18, NLT)
This immediately preceding translation might give the clearest or simplest meaning for us. And the two verses actually explain themselves, if we think about it.
It’s all about perspective, eternal perspective, that is. When I began to focus on eternity, which after all, is a lot longer than an earthly life, the quote started to make a lot of sense. Yes, I or others may be suffering now, but COMPARED TO the rewards, joy, and glory of eternity, what we’re going through is NOTHING. Yes, it doesn’t feel good if we focus on the current suffering, but if we focus on what awaits people of faith in heaven, it’s incomparable!
This is not to dismiss the very real pain that all of us go through, but to give hope that it won’t last forever. And, we probably should try to alleviate others’ suffering, if not our own. But I’ve found it very helpful to forget myself and focus on the glory to come, while always working to improve what can be improved in my little area of the world.
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