Beautiful and Terrible
I was visiting my medical oncologist for a follow-up appointment. I’ve been apparently cancer free for about five years now, after bouts with kidney and breast cancer. Fortunately both were detected quite early on.
While waiting in the exam room, I looked up to notice a white board with scribbled writing on it. The first scribble, on the upper left, was: “Here is the world. Beautiful and terrible things will happen. Don’t be afraid.” The second scribble, in the lower right corner, said “Fear ye not, for I am with ye. Yea, I am with ye always.” Then in the upper right corner was a picture from a movie, I think, but the caption was, “Hasta la vista, melanoma — the Terminator.”
These little sayings struck me profoundly. ”Beautiful and terrible,” for sure. The world is full of so much suffering, like cancer, war, violence and hatred, to name a few, but with so much beauty as well: nature, human love, forgiveness, mercy, art, and many other things. But the saying ends bravely with the words, “Don’t be afraid.” Upon further research, I learned that the quote is by Frederick Buechner, a Presbyterian minister who had a painful childhood, his family moving about almost every year, and his father committing suicide when he was fourteen. Despite those events, he went on to become a prolific writer and a preacher.
The next saying echoes the first, although its original was written long before the first saying. Again, “Fear ye not.” As far as I can tell, this is partly from Isaiah 41:10 and from Matthew 28:20, or perhaps three or four other places in the New Testament where Jesus tells his disciples to not be afraid. I think we humans need constant reminders not to be afraid.
So, the doctor arrived and after some discussion, I was told I could finish my five years of medication in June. Also, after the exam, he said I was healing well. So it was all good news. When he went out the door, I got emotional, I suppose from relief that all was well. As I went to the car and in the car, I couldn’t help but be overwhelmed. ”I shouldn’t even be alive, and here I am!”
All praise to God, who has allowed me to continue living for His purposes, which I don’t always know or understand.
clarakatalin 
Thoughts on Independence Day, 2022
“Blessed is the nation whose God is the Lord, the people chosen as his inheritance.” (Psalm 33:12)
“So if the Son makes you free, you will be free indeed.” (John 8:36)
“…for what has been achieved we give you thanks, for the work that still remains we ask your help…” (from an Independence Day prayer)
For blood that’s been shed,
For many prayers said,
For all the tears cried,
Lord, be by our side.
Forgive all that’s wrong;
Lord, help us be strong.
Celebrate what’s good;
Increase brotherhood.
We give You our past;
Only heaven will last.
Go forward again,
Let all divisions mend.
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