By God’s grace, I’ve made it thus far.
Parents who first pointed me to God.
Mentors, who shared their wisdom with me.
Rescued from the Moonie cult after two weeks.
Two times had cancer, caught early. Two times in hospital with kidney stones. Doctors and nurses who cared.
Two wonderful children, and three grandchildren so far.
33 years of marriage.
Depression, anxiety, handled with faith, prayer, and therapy.
Friends and family who’ve stood by me.
All grace.
I was visiting my medical oncologist for a follow-up appointment. I’ve been apparently cancer free for about five years now, after bouts with kidney and breast cancer. Fortunately both were detected quite early on.
While waiting in the exam room, I looked up to notice a white board with scribbled writing on it. The first scribble, on the upper left, was: “Here is the world. Beautiful and terrible things will happen. Don’t be afraid.” The second scribble, in the lower right corner, said “Fear ye not, for I am with ye. Yea, I am with ye always.” Then in the upper right corner was a picture from a movie, I think, but the caption was, “Hasta la vista, melanoma — the Terminator.”
These little sayings struck me profoundly. ”Beautiful and terrible,” for sure. The world is full of so much suffering, like cancer, war, violence and hatred, to name a few, but with so much beauty as well: nature, human love, forgiveness, mercy, art, and many other things. But the saying ends bravely with the words, “Don’t be afraid.” Upon further research, I learned that the quote is by Frederick Buechner, a Presbyterian minister who had a painful childhood, his family moving about almost every year, and his father committing suicide when he was fourteen. Despite those events, he went on to become a prolific writer and a preacher.
The next saying echoes the first, although its original was written long before the first saying. Again, “Fear ye not.” As far as I can tell, this is partly from Isaiah 41:10 and from Matthew 28:20, or perhaps three or four other places in the New Testament where Jesus tells his disciples to not be afraid. I think we humans need constant reminders not to be afraid.
So, the doctor arrived and after some discussion, I was told I could finish my five years of medication in June. Also, after the exam, he said I was healing well. So it was all good news. When he went out the door, I got emotional, I suppose from relief that all was well. As I went to the car and in the car, I couldn’t help but be overwhelmed. ”I shouldn’t even be alive, and here I am!”
All praise to God, who has allowed me to continue living for His purposes, which I don’t always know or understand.
The lumpectomy surgery was successful!
The one lymph node they removed was cancer-free, halleluia! But, they did find some cancer on one of the margins, so I’ll have another shorter surgery, scheduled for 11/30/2018, to remove those cells.
Radiation will perhaps start in early January.
Today is the 1st anniversary of what I call my “Kidney Stone Miracle”. Because of going to emergency for kidney stone pain, the doctors also discovered a cancerous tumor in the other (left) kidney. A month later, they removed it and I’m doing well today. Thank you, God, for another year of life!
The surgeon later told me that “You shouldn’t have had that much trouble passing that stone; it wasn’t that big.” But because of the pain, they found the cancer, so thank God.
Often our suffering can have a good result. We don’t always see the result, but in trusting God it can bear good fruit.
You can read the original story here:
https://clarakatalin.wordpress.com/2014/03/11/the-kidney-stone-miracle/
clarakatalin 
The Gift of Guilt
I once was amazed by a statement in a book by Peter Kreeft (can’t recall which book) that “The Jews gave us the gift of guilt.” In current times, most of us avoid the idea of guilt and find it very negative. To think of guilt as “a gift” was thought-provoking.
Here’s my take on it, but I am not an expert:
1) Guilt is a gift when I have broken one of God’s laws. This might be thought of as the Ten Commandments, or the “two greatest commandments”: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind,” and “Love your neighbor as yourself.” Have I done evil, or have I failed to do the good I had the means to do?
2) It is a gift if I allow the guilt to bring me to repentance.
3) It is a gift if after repenting, I freely accept forgiveness.
Guilt can be a gift like a cancer diagnosis. You did not perhaps know you had cancer until the doctor informed you. Now that you are informed, things can be done to destroy or remove the cancer. The guilt is the impetus, like the awareness following the diagnosis, to take action.
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