I recently went shopping with my daughter and two others for her wedding dress. It was a very happy occasion, and a pleasant time to spend with her, and to socialize with one of her best friends and my daughter-in-law. Also, the matron of honor, who lives quite a distance away, was intermittently present through Facetime video.
We had appointments at three bridal shops throughout the day, with a luncheon before the third appointment. The third shop advertised itself as “a designer sample bridal boutique…. stocking the best sample wedding dresses at a fraction of the cost.” My daughter didn’t intend to buy a dress that day, but at this third shop, the combination of an excellent price and most of the features she wanted in a wedding dress clinched the deal.
As we were leaving the shop, she spotted a dress that had a black lacy top layer over an off-white or beige layer. My daughter teasingly said, “What would you do if I bought that dress?” I don’t recall exactly, but I probably said something like, “No way!”
This all brought up memories of my mom telling me the story of her wedding. She and my dad met in an Austrian refugee camp (Ranshofen), run by Americans, during World War II. It was in Braunau am Inn, the town where Hitler was born. I don’t have many details of their wedding, and there are no pictures. However, my mom did tell me that she got married in a black dress, probably the best dress she had. She spoke about the black dress in a melancholy voice. I don’t know if the witnesses were people they had become friends with, or relative strangers. And it must have been in a church.
When I told the bridal sales helper and all the bridal dress party about my mom’s black dress, the helper said, “We all do the best we can with what we’ve been given.” What a thoughtful comment!
[Realistically, though, we might not always do our best, but our worst, subconsciously or consciously. Out of anger, we may sabotage ourselves or others. But still, many people heroically make do with what the world regards as very little — materially, at least. Loving families can do a lot to make up for a lack of material goods.]
How blessed I was for my wedding, and my daughter is, for happier and more prosperous times. But my mom did the best she could at the time and many times after that, and I love her for that.
clarakatalin 
Let the little children …
Some people have a lot more appreciation of children than I do. Part of that may be my upbringing, or the feeling that, though children can be delightful, they create a lot of work. Put it down to my laziness, perhaps, which is one of my many faults. Also, I was not raised with a strong work ethic, as many are fortunate to have been. Or even, perhaps, because I don’t know/have the best childrearing skills, I find it difficult at times.
Fast forward to my current life. Having had the blessing of two children in California, one who is in her late twenties and the other in his early thirties, my husband and I moved to Ohio three years ago to be near them and our grandchildren. Being in my late sixties, I envisioned a life of relative ease, compared to when I was a full time mom/homemaker, who volunteered and did some part time paid work.
It has turned out that I work a lot harder than some other periods of my life. I’m growing vegetables in our backyard. I grow a lot of these from seed, in our basement, and when I grow too many, I pot them up and give them away. I do a lot of the other garden work, except lawn mowing, and large shrub and tree trimming. Of course, there’s house cleaning and laundry, and washing dishes by hand, since our dishwasher is not working correctly. I do some cooking, but not every day, and we are fortunate to be able to eat out sometimes. We also have two cats, one of which requires medicine twice a day. Church and volunteering takes up some time, about 10-12 hours per week. There are other day to day tasks, and somewhat frequent doctor appointments, averaging once or twice a week.
The other added task — or opportunity, or blessing, to put it positively — is helping watch our three current grandchildren. I rarely do this alone, but usually with my husband or with the other grandparents. Even with their help, I find it very tiring at times, but also rewarding.
So, a few days ago, while anticipating the fun and the work, I was partly excited and partly grumbly. Part of me wanted a nice quiet, peaceful day. I kept praying for a better attitude, and the Lord answered me by putting a Scripture verse in my head: “but Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not stop them; for it is to such as these that the kingdom of heaven belongs.”” (Matthew 19:14). I knew then that I could count on God’s help, and that He was, and is, changing my attitude for the better.
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Commentary, Personal story
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