America’s Greatness
What made America great?
People with a faith, lived well —
Not those who merely said the words,
But from their lives, their faith would tell.
What made America great?
People who did persevere —
Through sickness, famine, poverty;
Through trials, hardships, deadly fear.
Have we lost the vision now?
Too cynical, too rich, somehow?
Too comfortable and too well-fed;
Too easy life, our sin to dread?
Then faithful voices, being quenched;
The kind, the gentle, with poison drenched.
Poison of criticism, poison of hate —
The voices of reason, many berate.
But lest we despair, let’s now give pause.
For all of this, there is a cause.
The devil knows his time is short;
All reason, love, he will abort.
When times are dark,
When love’s light dims,
Look for the light
You’ll find in Him.
Complaint versus Criticism
Complaints versus criticisms. Example:
COMPLAINT: “I was so worried when you didn’t call that I stayed awake all night.”
CRITICISM: “You should have called. You made me stay up all night worrying about you. Talk about inconsiderate. [or, You’re a jerk!]”
COMPLAINT addresses actions that cause upset. CRITICISM attacks the other person, or their character.
Which do you think the recipient will be more likely to respond to?
Some people might not see a difference here; however I think some would be more hurt by criticism, whereas complaint will feel more reasonable and they’d be less defensive.
Adapted from “The Relationship Cure,” by John Gottman and Joan DeClaire, Three Rivers Press, 2001, pp. 71-73
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