Poems, Personal Stories, and Observations

Posts tagged ‘criticism’

Fairy Tale Dream

I lived in a fairy tale dream 
Of mostly sunny days —
Little disease and little pain —
Then reality came. 

I felt accused of misplaced trust,
Defensive, and defend I must.
The hopes of wanting to believe,
The criticisms ill conceived.

And cancer struck, not once, but twice.
These unexpected enemies caused
A leeriness, and gave me pause.

Life wouldn’t go on as I had thought —
Events could happen, unannounced,
Nothing seemed safe; nothing sound.

The sunny days had turned to dark,
The world, instead, became more stark.
I had to be ready; I had to be armed.

And then to move o’er 2,000 miles,
Uprooted, after 67 years –
Somehow, that caused a lot of tears.

—

Each day that passes, I come aware
Of tragedies, of people’s cares —
That lead some people to despair.

Evil spreads, or so it seems,
Yet parallel, a good perceived —
Incomprehensible battle screams.

And then He said, “Take up your cross,”
“With Me,” He said, “Must count the cost.”
“Without the cross you will be lost.”

I learn to hear His voice each day,
And trust He’s with me in the fray,
And good, o’er evil, wins the day.

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Complaint versus Criticism

Complaints versus criticisms. Example:

COMPLAINT: “I was so worried when you didn’t call that I stayed awake all night.”
CRITICISM: “You should have called. You made me stay up all night worrying about you. Talk about inconsiderate. [or, You’re a jerk!]”

COMPLAINT addresses actions that cause upset. CRITICISM attacks the other person, or their character.

Which do you think the recipient will be more likely to respond to?

Some people might not see a difference here; however I think some would be more hurt by criticism, whereas complaint will feel more reasonable and they’d be less defensive.

Adapted from “The Relationship Cure,” by John Gottman and Joan DeClaire, Three Rivers Press, 2001, pp. 71-73

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America’s Greatness

What made America great?
People with a faith, lived well —
Not those who merely said the words,
But from their lives, their faith would tell.

What made America great?
People who did persevere —
Through sickness, famine, poverty;
Through trials, hardships, deadly fear.

Have we lost the vision now?
Too cynical, too rich, somehow?
Too comfortable and too well-fed;
Too easy life, our sin to dread?

Then faithful voices, being quenched;
The kind, the gentle, with poison drenched.
Poison of criticism, poison of hate —
The voices of reason, many berate.

But lest we despair, let’s now give pause.
For all of this, there is a cause.
The devil knows his time is short;
All reason, love, he will abort.

When times are dark,
When love’s light dims,
Look for the light
You’ll find in Him.

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Slip of the Tongue

How could I do that awful thing,
With words to bite, with tongue to sting?
How could I cut off other’s words,
To thus imply, “You are absurd.”?

With ease I fall and don’t suspect
The words I say might have effect.
And sure myself have often known
The hurt of words from other’s tongue.

So, grant us, Lord, we do implore,
Our tongue to hold, our words to store.
And let instead encourg’ment come,
So we’ll have peace when day is done.

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