The Black Wedding Dress
I recently went shopping with my daughter and two others for her wedding dress. It was a very happy occasion, and a pleasant time to spend with her, and to socialize with one of her best friends and my daughter-in-law. Also, the matron of honor, who lives quite a distance away, was intermittently present through Facetime video.
We had appointments at three bridal shops throughout the day, with a luncheon before the third appointment. The third shop advertised itself as “a designer sample bridal boutique…. stocking the best sample wedding dresses at a fraction of the cost.” My daughter didn’t intend to buy a dress that day, but at this third shop, the combination of an excellent price and most of the features she wanted in a wedding dress clinched the deal.
As we were leaving the shop, she spotted a dress that had a black lacy top layer over an off-white or beige layer. My daughter teasingly said, “What would you do if I bought that dress?” I don’t recall exactly, but I probably said something like, “No way!”
This all brought up memories of my mom telling me the story of her wedding. She and my dad met in an Austrian refugee camp (Ranshofen), run by Americans, during World War II. It was in Braunau am Inn, the town where Hitler was born. I don’t have many details of their wedding, and there are no pictures. However, my mom did tell me that she got married in a black dress, probably the best dress she had. She spoke about the black dress in a melancholy voice. I don’t know if the witnesses were people they had become friends with, or relative strangers. And it must have been in a church.
When I told the bridal sales helper and all the bridal dress party about my mom’s black dress, the helper said, “We all do the best we can with what we’ve been given.” What a thoughtful comment!
[Realistically, though, we might not always do our best, but our worst, subconsciously or consciously. Out of anger, we may sabotage ourselves or others. But still, many people heroically make do with what the world regards as very little — materially, at least. Loving families can do a lot to make up for a lack of material goods.]
How blessed I was for my wedding, and my daughter is, for happier and more prosperous times. But my mom did the best she could at the time and many times after that, and I love her for that.
clarakatalin 